Savage Sex, Love, and Money

On this day, informally dedicated to pot, green, and weed smokers everywhere, students took a reprieve from their favorite “extracurricular activity” to listen to someone speak on a topic that many find much more interesting and controversial than inhaling cannabis-sex.

An open and candid discussion about sex is the only thing that could keep this crowd of liberal and sexually diverse students from enjoying one of earth’s natural substances on April 20, known to many as national weed day. The leader, and most openly sexual person in the room, was none other than Dan Savage, weekly sex columnist and editor of The Stranger in Seattle, Washington.

Savage’s talk went much like his column, “Savage Love,” in which members of the audience illuminated by what Savage considered “very flattering light,” raised their hands and wrote down questions for Savage seeking his honest opinion and advice on their sex life and homosexual policy. Savage considers himself a gay “evangelist,” helping and guiding those in need. During his speech Savage said, “I’m in a good position to give people permission to do what they want because I’m a fag.”

For 18 years, Savage has been writing his column for The Stranger, where over 5,000 weekly submissions of intimate scenarios and curious questions for Savage are made for him to discuss in his column, the one place where readers know they will not be judged for any socially stigmatized behavior. Savage even took the time to welcome heterosexuals to his discussion by jokingly saying “…we’d like this to be a safe place for you tonight.”

Some of the questions that Savage tried his best to answer with a straight face, or without interjecting his own experiences down memory lane, included, “How do two women have sex,” “When is a fetish unhealthy,” and “Am I gay if I secretly think about men sexually.” The latter Savage answered by saying, “I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t gay by thinking about women sexually, but that was very unsuccessful because I only fantasized about flat chested girls with penises.”

Not all of the topics addressed were quite as personal as these. Barrington Morris, a Junior at the University of Georgia (UGA), was more concerned with Savage’s opinion on right versus left wing politics. Morris, who has been following Savage since December of last year when Savage made an appearance on Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO, knew he was going to be entertained by what Savage had to say but got a much more graphic images of the way Savage lives his life as a 44-year-old “pole lover” than he bargained for. “I came out tonight because I wanted to diversify myself. I didn’t know he was going to be so candid,” Morris said with a weary smile. “…but it was very interesting.”

Betsy Hanner, also a Junior at UGA, accompanied a friend to the discussion not knowing what to expect. She said, “Even though I didn’t agree with everything he said because I grew up in a very conservative community, I thought that he was hilarious and I loved that he was so open and honest.” Hanner admitted that she was not very familiar with the gay community but is interested in reading Savage’s column. “I want to read it because I feel like it’s geared toward everyone and not just homosexuals,” said Hanner. “I would read it for entertainment purposes and want to hear his point of view.”

Surprisingly, Savage was also raised in a highly conservative community where he was raised in a strong Catholic household in the city of Chicago. Growing up in such a different community than the one he has immersed himself in today, Savage has the unique benefit of understanding both sides of the homosexual debate. He said, “I’m not one of those gay people who tries to change what religious people think about me. I don’t care if you think I’m going to hell, I just want my civil rights just like the Jews and the Yoga instructors have theirs.” Now an Atheist, Savage focuses more of his energy on trying to change policy rather than change religious views on the homosexual lifestyle. When asked his opinion on sexting (defined as sending nude pictures via text messages according to CBS News), Savage said, “God bless Vermont for considering legalizing sexting.” Savage was also quick to add, “I have my phone right here if anyone would like to send me a dirty picture. I’d be happy to evaluate it for you.”

The open discussion of homosexual, heterosexual and all other variations of sex definitely caused spurts of giggles and laughter from the audience. Savage shared his philosophy on sex and love with the audience comparing sex to cake, being the “primal and dangerous state of human nature” and love to frosting, being the “thin veneer and human Juditsu move that makes relationships last long term.” He also compared monogamy to sobriety explaining that everyone “can fall off the bandwagon,” and bragged that gays know more about sex, are better at sex, and have much more sex than heterosexuals.

These unusual analogies and upfront ideologies are exactly why so many people are drawn to Savage’s witty articles, podcasts, and radio show week after week. Savage serves as the voice for heterosexuals in politics, a sex adviser to experimenting youth, and good ol’ entertainment for those who are able to access his frequently banned and racy sex column. Savage manages to do all of this while still maintaining his normal life as a husband and father to an adopted son. Savage probably even joined the rest of the nation in celebrating the unofficial holiday of 4/20. In the middle of his discussion he broke off into an aside, as he did many other times, saying, “I need some pot.”